Devil Inside
by punkiemonkie
Summary: Every night I dream that the girl I love gets murdered, and the one who kills her...is me. Cloud is caught in a struggle for his life, his sanity, and the woman he loves. --Cloud/Tifa. Rated for violence, mild language and mild sexual themes--
1. Prologue

**(A.N.) **So this is my newest creation in my surge of FFVII fanfic ideas and is notably darker and more angsty than any of my other stories. I'm not totally sure how this one is going to turn out, but I decided to post the prologue and see what kind of reaction I got, so here it is. This may be slightly edited later when I get the rest of the chapters up. I got the idea for the title from one of Utada Hikaru's songs called "Devil Inside" but the theme is a bit different from that of the song. IMPORTANT: This chapter (the prologue) is all done in Cloud's point of view, but the other chapters may end up being in third person. I'm not sure yet. Anyway, enjoy!  
Note: "Speech" _'Thoughts'_

**Devil Inside  
**Prologue

There's darkness everywhere. So pitch black that I can't see anything around me. Then I realize that it's because my eyes are squeezed shut. I try to open them, but my eyelids feel heavy. I finally get them to open, but the world around me is almost as dark as it had been when my eyes were closed. Small droplets of water are falling all around me, though I'm sure I am inside. I look up to confirm that the rain is coming from a massive hole in the ceiling.

Her church.

The rain is cold, stinging the skin of my exposed arms and face as it pours down from the heavens, making me shiver. The acrid smell of metal and rust assaults my senses, burning my nose. It's so strong that I begin to feel sick and slightly dizzy. I realize for the first time that I have been on my hands and knees, so I sit up, still kneeling. I notice that my hands feel wet and sticky, so I raise them up close enough so I can see them in the immense darkness. My stomach lurches as I realize where the horrible smell was coming from: My hands are covered in blood.

I quickly try to wipe them off on my shirt, noticing that my clothes are soaking wet. I silently pray that it's from the rain. I am suddenly aware that the puddle I'm kneeling in is not from the rain, but a pool of blood, collected on the wooden floor boards beneath me.

I feel surreally calm as I wonder about my own safety. _'I don't feel hurt anywhere, so why…?'_

A flash of lightning suddenly rips through the dark sky, illuminating the church's interior. The gruesome scene before me answers my question. Even as the bright light fades I can see the figure of a woman lying a few yards from me. Dark hair frames her face and falls around her shoulders, wet from the rain. She is sitting and leaning up against the wall; head tilted downward, eyes closed and arms lying limp at her sides. Realization hits me and I feel sicker. The blood is not mine, it's hers.

Tifa.

Quickly getting to my feet, I rush over to her, kneeling in front of her and putting my hands on her shoulders. Her name passes my lips as I shake her slightly, trying to rouse her but receiving no response. I beg her to open her eyes as I shake her again, but still she lies motionless except for a pitiful little moan that escapes her lips. I look down to see that she is clutching her chest, and upon moving her hand I understand what is wrong with her.

There is a large slanted gash that goes from the area above her heart all the way down almost reaching her abdomen, and it's gushing massive quantities of blood with every beat of her fragile heart. I realize instantly that a wound that size and shape could only have come from one weapon. My hands are still on her shoulders as I look to my right, a glint of silver catching my eye. A few feet away my sword is lying on the wooden floor, the tip of it dripping with blood. Her blood.

My heart begins to beat rapidly within my chest as the horrible truth sets in: Tifa is dying, and _I'm_ the one who killed her.

I turn back to her, shaking her shoulders more urgently and shouting her name, my voice cracking in fear. With one hand I reach down and touch her cheek, noticing that her skin lacks its usual warmth. I try to tell myself that the rain is what's making her feel so cold, but I know the truth. My hand remains there but my vision suddenly becomes blurry and it takes me a moment to realize that it's because tears are filling my eyes. I can feel my whole body beginning to tremble as I squeeze my eyes shut, warm droplets streaking down my face and mixing with the cool rain.

Suddenly I feel her move beneath my touch, tilting her head up slightly to look up at me as her eyes slowly slide open. I blink rapidly to clear my vision so I can look at her, softly stroking her cheek with my thumb. I try to choke out her name, but my voice is gone, like the sparkle that once lit up her almond colored eyes. I am unable to look away from her face even as I feel her hand weakly touch my own cheek before falling back down to her side.

More tears fill my eyes and run down my cheeks as I embrace her, pulling her into my chest and tucking her head underneath my chin. With her in my arms, I can feel her heart beating weakly, the warm crimson fluid flowing from her chest now soaking into my shirt.

"Cloud…" she whispers, so softly that it is almost carried away by the wind.

"Tifa, please…" I manage to choke out before my voice fails me again; begging her not to leave me though I know it is inevitable.

I pull her closer to me, holding her tightly though she cannot return my embrace. A moment later I feel her body go completely limp in my arms, her life and all her warmth leaving her forever. Her eyes close for the last time as she breathes her very last breath in my arms. The only woman that I ever loved…dead…because of _me_…

**To Be Continued…**

**(A.N.) **So…yeah. This is just the prologue (notice the very short length) but more chapters should be posted soon. Despite what it may sound like, this IS a Cloud&Tifa romance fic…all will all be explained in later chapters. It may be a while before I post any more just because I want to figure out how I'm going to write it. I have the basic storyline in mind, but I just need to decide if it will be all in Cloud's point of view. I _do_ realize that when people die in the FFVII world that their bodies dissolve into the Lifestream, I just didn't write that part in because I figure it would have to take a few minutes to happen after their death…and the chapter ends right after she dies. (Plus all the light and sparkles would take away from the sadness…) Anyway, I'd really like to see what everyone's reaction to this is, simply because I have never written a story like this before. So all reviews are greatly appreciated!

-Punkiemonkie


	2. Chapter One

**(A.N.) **So, here's chapter one. Sorry for the wait! After much trial and torment, I have decided to do it in Cloud's point of view. I realize that in the last chapter some things were put in my _'thought'_ format even though the whole thing was in Cloud's point of view. Oops! Everything is his thoughts, duh! I have fixed that little problem in this chapter. From now on that format will be used for things Cloud hears in his head (you'll understand when it happens).  
Note: "Speech" _'Voices in Cloud's head'_

**Devil Inside  
**Chapter One

With a sharp intake of breath I shoot up in bed, frightened awake by my horrific nightmare. I breathe deeply and close my eyes, one hand on my chest over my heart, trying to quell its rapid fluctuations. I run my fingers through the spiky locks of my hair, trying to calm my frayed nerves. My whole body is covered in a cold sweat, making me shiver as the covers slide away from my torso.

Looking down at my side, I confirm that it really had only been a dream. There she is, sleeping peacefully beside me like she is every night. She's lying on her side, facing away from me, dark hair fanned out across the pillow. As I lean closer to her I can hear her breathing softly, unaffected by the terrors that harmed her in my dream. Leaning over her, I place a small kiss on her temple before sliding out from under the covers and out of bed.

The wooden floorboards of the house are cold beneath my bare feet and creak a little as I tiptoe around the bed and towards the bathroom, trying to be as quiet as possible so I don't wake her. I shiver again, but this time from the cool air of the autumn night. I should have chosen to wear a little more than boxers and a thin t-shirt to bed.

The pitter-patter of rain on the roof keeps the late night from being completely silent; typical weather for Edge this time of year. Moonlight that shines in from the window lights the room just enough so I can see where I'm going and not stumble into anything, though I'm familiar enough with the layout of the room that I could probably navigate through it in complete darkness. Raindrops streaking down the windowpanes make strange, moving shadows on the opposite wall, making the room feel eerie, and I shiver again before I reach the bathroom door.

After using the toilet, I step in front of the sink, scowling at my appearance in the mirror on the wall in front of me. I look tired, probably because I haven't gotten much sleep in the past couple of weeks.

Night after night the same dream haunts my sleep. It's _exactly_ the same every time; I hurt the person who is most important to me, and she dies in my arms. I know what is going to happen, but I can't stop it. All I can do is watch helplessly, unable to save her.

I cup my hands under the faucet, trapping cool water there before splashing it over my face. I try to remove those thoughts from my mind, but I wonder despite myself.

Why _now_? Just when everything was going so well…

Nearly a year has passed since the incident with Kadaj and the rest of the remnants, and Sephiroth's reincarnation. After that was over, all the pieces of my life seemed to fall perfectly into place. My Geostigma was cured, and I found the forgiveness for my sins that I had been so desperately seeking, so I came back to live with Tifa and the children. With the guilt gone, I finally had the courage to tell Tifa how I really felt about her, and even though I know I didn't deserve it, she returned those feelings.

Our friends didn't seem too surprised when Tifa and I announced that we had officially become a couple. They said they had always known that we only had eyes for each other, despite the fact that we tried to play it off as just being good friends. Most of the gang was a bit surprised, though, about eight months later when I told them I had asked Tifa to marry me, and we were going to be married some time in the spring of next year.

We've been sharing a room since we got engaged, the one that used to be just hers, not that _anything more_ has happened between us. The change was mostly due to the fact that Tifa decided that Denzel and Marlene were at the age that they needed separate rooms. So Denzel moved into my old room, much to his delight, and I moved in with Tifa, much to _my_ delight.

I hardly ever slept in my room anyway, most of the time I just slept in the extra bed in the office, so I wouldn't miss a call about a delivery. Tifa won't let me do that anymore though; she says it made me a workaholic. Not that I mind, it's much more comfortable with her anyway.

After everything that I had been through, I was finally _happy_.

I had it all.

It was the picture of perfection: running a thriving business, engaged to the girl of my dreams and raising two wonderful children with her. It seemed like nothing could ruin my happiness.

But then, the dreams started.

Every night for the past couple of weeks I've woken up nearly screaming at the sight of the woman I love dying at my own hands. It terrifies me to know that my subconscious can bring that image into my mind, but what's worse is that it doesn't just haunt me in my sleep anymore. Thoughts of harming the thing most precious to me invade my head during the day now too.

Sometimes I even hear a voice in my head. It's an oddly familiar voice, yet I can't quite remember where I've heard it before. It tries to weigh me down with guilt for sins that I know have been forgiven, and attempts to influence me to do things; horrible things.

It's like someone is trying to take over my mind.

To hurt _her_.

Doing my best to push the unpleasant thoughts out of my mind, I leave the bathroom and walk back to the bed where Tifa still sleeps silently. As I crawl back under the covers and into the warmth of the bed, I bitterly remember what I promised myself that I would do if I couldn't get the horrifying thoughts to leave me alone.

I have to leave her.

I know it will hurt her if I leave again, but right now it's the only way I can keep her safe.

There's no way I'm going to let _anyone_ hurt her, and that includes me.

But I don't want to think about any of that right now. I just want to hold her, because this may be the last chance I get for a long time. At least until I know I can trust myself, and my _sanity_, again.

I sigh, rolling over to look at her. She's still curled up on her side, facing away from me. I scoot closer to her, draping one arm over her hip and hooking it around her waist to pull her closer to me. I kiss her jaw and nuzzle my face into her neck, breathing in her scent.

I stay like this for a moment, trying to memorize the way her body feels next to me, before I feel her stir. Her breathing changes, no longer as slow and steady as it was before, and I know she is awake. I can almost feel her smile when she realizes that I'm holding her.

"Cloud?" she whispers, trying to see if I'm awake as well. I almost consider pretending to be asleep, just so I can hold her like this without any words to make things complicated, but I decide against it.

"Hmm?" I murmur against her skin.

She turns over in my arms so that she can face me, her brow creased with concern. I am unable to meet her gaze, afraid that she'll be able to see everything that I'm hiding in my eyes. Since we were children she has been able to understand what I'm thinking just by looking at my eyes, and I don't want her to see that now, because I know it will hurt her.

Instead I focus on my hand that is resting down by her waist, my fingers idly tracing patterns across her hip. She reaches up tentatively to touch my cheek, silently begging me to look at her, but I can't. I don't want to see how much I'm hurting her, or how worried she is about me. I shift so that I'm lying on my back, pulling her with me and resting her head on my chest. My arms are still around her, resting on her lower back, and she's holding on to my waist.

"What's wrong?" she asks softly, her voice muffled against my chest.

"Nothing." I whisper against her hair.

'_Liar.'_ the voice in my head accuses me, sneering.

I mentally yell at it to keep quiet. I _know_ I'm lying to her, but I don't want to hurt her with the truth.

"Why won't you talk to me?" she asks, though it sounds a bit more like pleading.

I am stricken silent, not having a response for that question but not having the heart to lie to her again. In the silence, I feel a warm droplet seep through my shirt, and I am panged with even more guilt.

My stupid problems are making Tifa cry, _again_.

Denzel and Marlene have told me that Tifa used to cry a lot when I left, though she tried not to let anyone see. She tried to be strong, telling everyone that she was fine, but I guess once in awhile her façade slipped. That's what she's doing now; crying silently, not wanting me to see that she's breaking, though I know all to well that she is, and I'm causing it.

I wonder if I acted the same way before I left last time, when I had Geostigma. Maybe she knows that I'm going to leave. Maybe she can tell that I'm pulling away from her, but she's afraid to let me go, thinking that I won't come back.

I feel her grip on my waist tighten and more of her tears soak through my shirt. It is in that moment that I realize that not telling her anything, shutting her out, is hurting her more.

'_That's all you ever do...hurt the people closest to you.'_ the voice mocks me again.

This time, I don't have the will to tell it off.

I'm tired, and I don't want to think about those things right now. At least until morning when I will be forced to face it once again.

For now, I just want to sleep, with her in my arms.

**To Be Continued…**

**(A.N.) **This chapter was mostly fluff (in an angsty sort of way). It's kind of the calm before the storm… -hint, hint- It was also a bit short, but I think for this fic they may all end up being that way. This took _a lot_ longer to post than I would have liked, mainly because I was debating on whether to do it in first or third person. The other chapters should be posted quicker. I probably could have left out the paragraph about their room arrangements, but I wanted to make it clear that while Cloud and Tifa were sleeping together, they weren't _'sleeping'_ together. Thanks so much for all the awesome reviews! They really encouraged me to continue with this story! Please be kind enough to leave another and I'll bring you the next chapter as quickly as I can! (If you want to know how the next update is coming along, you can always check my profile. I usually keep it updated with that kind of info.)

-Punkiemonkie


	3. Chapter Two

**(A.N.) **Sorry about the really late update! You know how it is around the holidays… I lost my inspiration for this for awhile, but it's back now! I blame Shibara1310. She got me obsessed with Crisis Core, so I've been distracted… Just kidding Shibi! Anyway, I know some of you had concerns about the unusual fact that Cloud and Tifa were sharing a bed, but not doing anything, but there is an explanation! I just wanted to have that scene with them talking in bed, but I didn't want it to seem like there was premarital sex going on. Having that in a story just ruins it for me. (Yes, some of my old stories have that, but it didn't use to bother me as much for some reason.) So this is my solution. It's called 'author's liberty'! Hehe. Please enjoy the next chapter.  
Note: "Speech" _'Voices in Cloud's head'_

**Devil Inside  
**Chapter Two

My eyes creep open slowly, but I immediately close them again, shying away from the bright sunlight streaming in from the window. It's much too bright to be six, the time I usually get up. I turn my head to the side, towards the small table by the bed, and glance at the time on the clock. It's already almost eight; the alarm on my cell phone must not have gone off. I reach out and grab my phone, which is also lying on the table, and flip it open. It's been turned off. I sigh. I bet I know who's behind this.

Looking down, I am greeted with the sight of messy dark hair. Her cheek is still resting against my chest like it was when I fell asleep last night, except now I can't see her eyes because her hair has fallen from behind her ear and draped over face. I reach down and brush her hair back; reveling in how soft it feels as it slips through my fingers. She shifts a little in her sleep at my touch, her hand moving up to rest on my chest next to her face, but she doesn't wake. She looks peaceful, and is no longer clutching to me desperately like she was last night.

I remember her tears, and a fresh wave of guilt washes over me. I've made up my mind though. I have to go, for her safety.

That's the most important thing to me; keeping her safe. I made her a promise all those years ago, and I intend to keep it for as long as I live.

A moment of silence passes as I lay there trying to figure out how I can get out of bed without disturbing her. She's a pretty heavy sleeper though, so I shouldn't have a problem. I learned this the night I found her asleep on the couch, apparently waiting up for me to come back from work, and I carried her up to her bed. I nearly tripped on my way up the stairs, but she stayed sound asleep.

She used wait up for me a lot after I came back, no matter how late I was out on a delivery. She was probably afraid I was going to leave again without a word.

I sigh again, feeling terrible. I can't think about that. This is something I have to do, and I'd do anything for her.

After a moment of contemplation, I decide that the best course of action is to try and slip out from underneath her. I hold onto her shoulders to keep her in place as I maneuver out from under her, and off the side of the bed. Immediately I replace my pillow under her head so hopefully she won't realize that I'm not there. Her eyes stay closed and she snuggles into the pillow, so I think I'm safe.

It's Sunday today, the only day of the week that Tifa closes the bar, so I want to let her sleep in. She works really hard between running Seventh Heaven and taking care of Denzel and Marlene. I help her out with them too, but they can be a bit of a handful sometimes. Although, for the past couple of weeks they've have been staying with Barret in Corel, so we've had a lot more free time.

That's another thing that bothers me about leaving. The kids aren't here, so when I'm gone Tifa will be all alone in this house. They'll be back in a few weeks, but what then? What is she going to tell them? That I left, _again_? They're smart kids; Tifa won't be able to fool them into thinking everything is all right for long. This is going to hurt them too, I know it, and it makes me feel even worse about leaving. But if this is what it takes to hold our family together, then I have to do it.

I sigh yet again; it seems to be quickly becoming a habit. If I keep brooding like this, I'm never going to get out of the house this morning. All my deliveries are already going to be delayed today because I slept in, and there's no sense making it worse.

I make a quick trip to the bathroom to brush my teeth and fix my hair. I don't really have to do much to it, just comb my fingers through it a couple of times and it sticks out the way it always does. Contrary to popular belief, I don't have to use gel. My hair just kind of does its own thing, so I leave it alone.

Walking back into the bedroom, I tug my shirt over my head and toss it into the hamper on my way over to the closet. I slide the closet door back, pick out a clean shirt, and pull it on. I'm zipping up my pants when I hear her move beneath the covers, slowly waking up. I don't have to turn around to know that she's watching me. I can feel her eyes on me, so it doesn't surprise me when I hear her voice.

"Cloud?" Tifa asks tentatively.

"Yeah?" I reply, focusing on my belt rather than looking at her.

"It's Sunday." she informs me, knowing that I'll understand what she's implying.

"I know." My voice is flat.

I hear her sigh. We've had this discussion before, and she knows the futility in trying to persuade me. She's always taken Sundays off, and ever since we started Strife Delivery Service she's been trying to convince me to do the same. It's not that I wouldn't love being home with her and the kids, it's just that I think I'd go stir-crazy having to sit at home all day. Or worse, get forced into going grocery shopping. Besides that, we need the money. A four room house in Edge isn't cheap.

"Come back to bed." she pleads.

"I can't, Tifa. I have to go to work." I say as I step into my boots.

Glancing over my shoulder, I see her sit up in bed, rubbing her eyes sleepily. She stretches and yawns a little, but doesn't make any move to get out of bed yet. Instead she watches me until I turn around to face her. She looks subdued, and turns her gaze downward rather than making eye contact with me. I quickly decide that running a few more minutes late today is worth it. She needs me right now.

I step over to the bed and sit down next to her. She still refuses to look at me, instead focusing on her fingers that are fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. She's biting her bottom lip, and I can tell she's trying to keep from shedding any tears. It almost bothers me that she would try so hard not to cry in front of me. After all we've been through together, shouldn't she be able to show me her tears?

I wait for her to say something, but she never does, so I break the silence.

"Tifa…" I speak softly, trying to get her attention.

She finally looks up at me, and for a moment, meets my eyes. I can tell what she wants, but she's waiting for an invitation from me.

"Come here." I say, opening my arms.

A moment later she's crawling into my lap, and I'm holding her close, trying to console her the best that I can. She slips her arms around my neck, and tucks her head under my chin. Her mouth is down by my collar bone, and her warm breath is brushing across my skin. I'm not sure if she's crying now, but I'm rubbing her back and whispering that everything is going to be alright anyway. And that's the truth. It _will_ all be okay someday. I don't know when, but I am going to fix things eventually, and she won't have to cry anymore.

A few silent moments pass between us, and my eyes are even starting to drift closed. It's peaceful here with her, it always is. She's lying almost perfectly still in my arms, except for her steady breathing, so it comes as quite a shock to me when I feel her lips press against my neck.

Normally, there is a 'no kissing' rule while we're in bed, because, well, it leads to other things. But I guess that's out the window at the moment.

She places a light kiss on my jaw line next, and I'm trying to figure out what she's doing; or rather, _why_ she's doing this. It's not like her initiate this sort of thing out of nowhere; especially when she's seemed so depressed lately. When her lips touch mine though, all of those thoughts are immediately driven from my mind.

Without a second thought, I begin moving my lips eagerly against hers, trying to memorize how soft her lips feel on mine. Her arms are still around my neck, and her fingers are threading through my hair in that way she knows I love. For a minute, I forget all of my fears and guilt, and I'm completely lost in her. I kiss her fervently for what seems like an eternity, and run my tongue along her bottom lip, savoring the intoxicating way she tastes.

The way she's kissing me now is different though. She's pushing her lips against mine much too firmly, in a needy, and almost desperate way. She's normally very timid and gentle, so this is completely unlike her.

In an instant I understand her reasons for doing this. She's trying to distract me from leaving and keep me here with her, and I'm sure that goes beyond just me going to work today. She really must know that I'm going to leave, so she's doing everything she can to try and persuade me not to go.

Somehow her tongue has found its way inside my mouth, and it's doing these incredible little movements along mine. Whenever I react the way she wants, she makes these cute little muffled moans into my mouth. Surely she must know that she's driving me crazy. I don't want it to end, but I know this isn't what she needs right now. It's going to take all my strength to pull myself away from her.

I continue kissing her for a moment, before I can finally force myself to stop. I pull back from her reluctantly, and catch a glimpse of what appear to be tears running down her cheeks before she nestles her head against my chest again. She's hugging me around my waist tightly, like she's afraid to let go. I hold her for a minute like this, stroking her hair while I wait for her to calm and for my breathing to return to normal.

"I have to go, Tifa." I murmur against her hair.

"I know." She sounds defeated, and I get the feeling we aren't just talking about me going to work.

Finally, she loosens her grip and pulls away from me slowly. Her eyes are glassy, but she's holding her tears back again. The ones that were on her cheeks must have wiped off on my shirt. I lean forward, placing my hands on either side of her face, and kiss her forehead softly. When I lean back again she gives me a weak smile, and I do my best to return it, despite the circumstances.

Standing up from the bed and moving past her, I grab my phone off the table and drop it into my back pocket. I'm almost over to the door before her voice calls my attention back.

"I love you, Cloud." she whispers almost silently.

It's so quiet that I almost wonder if I was really supposed to hear it. I look back at her, my hand still on the doorknob, and notice that she's not looking in my direction. Normally, I'd rather show her how much I care about her, rather than say it. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel; Tifa taught me that. But sometimes, I think she needs to hear it, and this seems to be one of those times.

"I love you too, Tifa." I say softly.

I think my response startles her, because she looks up at me instantly. She probably forgot that my hearing is super sensitive because of all the mako injections I got when I was younger. A normal person probably wouldn't have been able to hear what she said. I catch her eyes for an instant and smile at her again before stepping out the door.

As I shut the bedroom door behind me, realization hits me that that could have been the last time I'll get to kiss her before I leave, or ever, if she won't take me back. Tifa is very forgiving, but I'm worried that maybe this time I'm going to hurt her so badly that she won't want me back in her life. I shake the thought off, and continue down the stairs and out the front door.

**To Be Continued…**

**(A.N.) **I realize that I made a mistake in the last chapter. I referred to Cloud's room and the office as two different rooms because that's how I always thought it was, but upon looking through my script of Advent Children, I realized that the room with the phone and desk IS Cloud's room. Oops! I doubt anyone would notice that mistake though… Oh well! I'm just going to go with it, so the chapters will be consistent. The next update should be much faster because I already have most of it written. It was going to be part of this chapter, but it was getting long so I separated them. Apologies again for the late update! And thanks so much for all the kind reviews!

Cookies for anyone who recognizes the line I used from the game!

-Punkiemonkie


	4. Chapter Three

**(A.N.) **Here's the next chapter. Please enjoy!  
Note: "Speech" _'Voices in Cloud's head'_

**Devil Inside  
**Chapter Three

How do you tell someone you love that you're having dreams about hurting them? Or worse, impulses to do it for real. I think about this as I ready Finrir, but I can't come up with an answer. I shove the thoughts out of my mind, and decide to just focus on work right now.

I check my schedule, and notice that there are a lot fewer deliveries planned for today than I normally have. They're all within Edge too, which is highly unusual. Normally I have at least one or two deliveries to nearby towns like Kalm or Junon. It's been like this for the past couple of weeks, but I've never thought much of it until now.

Then it hits me. I don't know why I didn't realize this before. _Tifa_ is the one scheduling all my deliveries, at least the ones that call into the bar. We used to just let the answering machine pick up all the calls and I'd review them when I got home, but lately Tifa has been insisting on answering them for me. I couldn't figure out why until now. She must be turning people away, and choosing only the locations nearby so I'll have more time to spend at home. She knows I've been stressed lately, and she's trying to help out. That's probably the reason behind her turning off my alarm off this morning too.

I grin a little at her thoughtfulness, but loose it in an instant. If only she knew _why_ I've been so tense lately.

I groan when I realize that I've been wasting time brooding, _again_. I have to stop doing that. As I put on my goggles and start up Finrir, I'm wondering how many customers are going to be pissed off at me today for being late.

It's pretty cold outside this morning, and a little windy, it's autumn after all. There are dark clouds in the sky too, threatening rain. Tifa is always nagging me about wearing a jacket this time of year, but I never get all that cold, so I rarely wear one. She's probably afraid I'm going to catch the flu or something. I laugh to myself, thinking about how sometimes she's too motherly for her own good.

I'm halfway down the block when my stomach growls and I realize that I haven't eaten yet, and it's nearly nine. Normally, Tifa is up early making breakfast for me and the kids so I can eat before I head off to work. She used to even get up on her day off, but I finally convinced her to sleep in, so I usually just grab something to eat somewhere in town before I make my first stop that day. Although, no fast food restaurant is going to even come close to her cooking.

My deliveries go by fast today, despite my late start, so it's only mid afternoon when I finish. And, as if by some miracle, no one bit my head off today for being over two hours late. I think I can probably credit this to the fact that Strife Delivery Service is one of the very few delivery services around, so people are really grateful. That, and a lot of the people around town are regulars at the bar, so they know Tifa, and are therefore nice to me.

Even though I finished early, I'm not going to get home very soon because I was planning on making a side trip after all my deliveries were done today. I'm going to the church, to drop most of the stuff that I'm taking with me. That's where I'm planning on staying because, honestly, I can't think of anywhere else I can go. Being there might bring back some bad memories, because of the circumstances under which I stayed there last time, but right now it's my only option.

Her church always feels peaceful to me, and it helps me clear my head. That's why I chose to go there last time. I'm hoping that maybe being there will stop the nightmares, and the voice inside my head. I know Aeris is watching over me, so maybe she can help. Zack is with her too, I know because I saw him with her at the church that day my Geostigma was cured. I hope they can help me, because I don't know what else to do.

It takes me quite awhile to get to the old Sector Five slums, mainly because most of the main roads are still filled with debris from Meteor, and are impassable. I take the back streets and alleyways through the old city of Midgar, kicking up a whirlwind of dust and dry leaves with Finrir's tires as I go.

When I finally arrive at the church, I kill the engine on my bike, listening to its low hum fade away. I dismount, pull my goggles off and hang them on one of the handlebars, and grab the pack that's filled with all the provisions I'll need while I'm here. I've brought my swords with me too, because there are still some fiends lurking around the slums, though they normally stay clear of the church.

I push the tall wooden door open slowly, noticing the creaking sound it makes, and step inside. Within, it's exactly the way it was the last time I was here, when Tifa and I came to visit Aeris and Zack. The pool of water still remains from the day the healing fountain sprung from the ground through the floorboards, but now flowers have started to spring up around the edges of the pool, making their place in the church once again.

I walk down the aisle, past the rows of old broken pews, and set my bag down on the floor. As I sit down on the nearest pew, I notice how surreally quiet it is here, except for the sound of the wind blowing in from the holes in the ceiling. It's a lot warmer in the church than I thought it was going to be, though it was a bit later in the year the last time I stayed here, so that could be why I expected it to be colder. That's good news; it means I'm not going to freeze to death out here. Although, after sleeping in Tifa's bed, a sleeping bag on a wooden floor isn't going to be pleasant.

Sighing, and look over towards the patch of flowers by the pool. As I sit there in the silence, I find myself staring into the pool of clear water. The wind is causing little ripples to flow across it, and there are a few yellow and white flower petals floating on its surface. In my head, I'm asking Aeris if it's alright if I stay here again, and if she'll help me.

I sit still for a moment, patiently waiting for some kind of an answer from her. Then, a soft breeze begins to flow through the church. It's not cold like the outside air, but almost feels warm as it blows across my face. I smile, taking that as a yes. I silently thank her, and get up to leave. I'll be back tonight, but I want to see Tifa one last time before I go.

It's late in the evening by the time I finally pull up outside the bar, and there's a car parked out front that I don't recognize. The bar wasn't open today, so I'm wondering who it could be. I look up towards the second story windows, and notice that our bedroom light is on. Tifa must be up there, which is unusual for her this time of night. Typically she would be down in the bar right now, cleaning up or taking inventory on supplies, even though it was her day off.

I put my key in the lock and turn the handle with habitual ease. I step inside, suddenly grateful that we're one of the few businesses that doesn't have a bell above the door that dings every time someone walks in. We had one for about a week, and it just about drove me and Tifa up the wall.

After locking the door behind me and setting my keys and phone on the counter, I head up the stairs, planning on telling Tifa that I'm home. When I'm about halfway up the stairs though, I can hear sounds coming from within our room. As I get closer, I can tell that it's voices. One is Tifa, but I don't recognize the other one right away.

"I can't believe he's doing this to you again!" the other, noticeably more high-pitched voice shouts.

That's definitely Yuffie. It must have been her car outside. But wait, are they talking about me?

Normally, I would oppose eavesdropping, but for some reason I can't help myself from listening. The door is only partially closed, so I inch closer to the doorway until I can see in through the gap. Tifa is sitting on the bed, and Yuffie is sprawled out on the rug on the floor in front of her. Tifa looks upset; they must be talking about something serious.

"I don't know what's wrong with him…" Tifa says quietly. "Every night he wakes up in a panic, but he won't tell me what's wrong. Then he holds onto me like he's afraid I'm going to disappear. I think he's having nightmares, but he won't talk to me."

So she does know about the nightmares. I was trying to keep it a secret so I wouldn't worry her, but maybe not telling her worried her more.

Tifa sighs and puts her face in her hands, covering her eyes. "He's been so distant lately…" she trails off, and then looks back up at Yuffie with glassy eyes. "I think he's going to leave again, Yuff."

I sigh, feeling awful. She knows me too well. I really can't hide _anything_ from her.

Yuffie huffs. "Cloud Strife is the biggest pain in the ass I know!" she proclaims, crossing her arms. "I don't know why you put up with him…"

"I love him." Tifa says simply.

I find myself smiling, even though she sounds sad when she says it. She's twirling her engagement ring around her finger, but I think she's doing it subconsciously.

"I know." Yuffie sighs.

Tifa pulls her legs up so her chin is resting on her knees and wraps her arms around her legs, hugging them closer to her chest. She continues, sounding like she's on the brink of tears.

"I've tried to make myself stop loving him, but I just can't do it." Tifa says shakily. "It scares me, because I know no matter what he does to me, or how much he hurts me, I won't be able to stop caring about him."

I don't know if it was what she said, or the heartbroken way that she said it, but that just hit me like a slap in the face. She's tried to stop loving me? Then that means there were times when she didn't _want_ to love me anymore. That hurts, but I deserve it. I've put her through so much, but she's always been there for me. She was my friend, and she never asked for more, even though I know that's what she really wanted.

We had that; the happiness that we both had always wanted to have together, but now I'm screwing it up. I sigh, leaning my head back against the wall. I really shouldn't be listening to this, but I can't make myself move because my knees suddenly feel weak, and my whole body feels heavier.

"He has all of me." Tifa says wearily, "If he leaves, I don't know what I'll do. I'll be…_empty_." She says the last word very quietly, like it hurts her to even say it out loud.

"_All_ of you?" Yuffie asks skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean." Tifa says with a sniff, not cheered up by Yuffie's light attitude.

Oh yeah, we've been through that one before. Tifa's not giving it up until we're married. That's okay, I can wait. That is, if she still wants to marry me after this. I honestly wouldn't blame her if she changed the locks on me and told me not to come back. That's what I deserve, after everything I've put her through.

"I… I don't think he wants to marry me anymore…" Tifa chokes out.

Oh no. I can't believe I made her think that. I could understand her not wanting to be with me, but how could she think that I don't want to be with her?

Apparently, that's her breaking point, because after those words Tifa breaks down into tears. She folds her arms on top of her knees, and rests her forehead on them as she sobs. Yuffie immediately gets up and sits next to Tifa on the bed. She puts her arm around Tifa's shoulders as she tries to console her, but Tifa continues to cry, tears falling into her lap.

I can't watch anymore. This is tearing me apart, seeing her like this. Especially because I know I caused it.

I quickly turn and go back down the hall, and descend the stairs into the dimly lit bar area. I take a seat at one of the barstools, resting my elbows on the countertop and running my fingers through my hair. I can't believe she would think that I don't want to be with her anymore. Maybe she didn't believe me this morning when I told her I loved her. Maybe she thinks that if I leave it _means_ that I don't love her. I wish she could see that I'm doing this_ because_ I love her, and I don't want to hurt her. I need to tell her, but I don't know how.

I'm desperately trying to figure out how I can fix this. I can't stay here; I could loose control and end up hurting her, more than emotionally. But if I leave, it's going to hurt her on the inside. This isn't fair, not for me or Tifa. Suddenly, I can't contain my frustration anymore.

"Dammit!" I curse, and slam my fist down on the counter.

It makes a loud thud, and rattles the cabinets under the counter. I sit there for a moment, seething, with my hands still clenched into fists. I normally don't get very angry about anything, or at least show it outwardly. I can usually keep a cool, emotionless exterior no matter what I'm feeling on the inside, but I can't take this anymore. This whole thing is just so unfair.

After a few deep breaths though, I'm calmed down again. Maybe Tifa's right; maybe letting your emotions out once in a while does make you feel better. That's what she's always telling me. I exhale slowly and look over at the sink, and smile crosses my lips as I recall a very pleasant memory.

It was the first time I kissed her.

Tifa was doing dishes one afternoon, only a few months after I had come back to live with her after my Geostigma was cured. The kids were over at a friend's house that day, so it was quiet in the house with just the two of us. I didn't have much to do, so I figured I would help her out with the dishes. She smiled at me when I asked if I could help, and instructed me to start drying the clean dishes.

We were just friends, but I had always thought about being with her, ever since we were kids. I always figured she was out of my reach, and that she would never feel the same way about me. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but I didn't know how. I've never been good at communicating things like that. Besides, so much had been going on in our lives. I was gone for five years, and when I finally found her again, another crisis took hold of us, Meteor. We had some time that we could have been together after that, but I was so overrun with guilt, that I didn't think I deserved to be with her. Then Geostigma and the Reunion interrupted our lives once again.

But it was all over, and I was with her again. While we were standing there washing the dishes in silence, I made up my mind. I was going to show her how I felt, no matter what the consequences were.

I must have been acting strange, because she looked at me and asked me if something was wrong. Before she could figure out what was going on though, my lips were on hers. She was frozen with shock for a moment, but then she was kissing me back without fear. It was the most amazing thing I had ever felt, and I knew that from that moment on, everything was going to be different between us. Different, but better.

I sigh. Things were so simple then, we could just be together. My life has never been normal though, and definitely not easy, so I guess I just have to accept that it probably never will be. As clichéd and sappy as it sounds; I just hoped that maybe this one time, something _could_ be that simple, and I could be happy.

'_You don't deserve that, after all you've done. All the people you've hurt, and killed.' _the voice says menacingly, evoking haunting memories.

I wince at the thought, but regain control, and silence the voice. It hasn't bothered me all day, so I'm wondering why it choose to now. Maybe it happens when I'm weak. It's strange; even though it's inside of my head, I still see the voice as an entity separate of myself. Like it belongs to someone else, rather than just my subconscious.

I'm shaken from my thoughts when I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. I glance back over my shoulder to see that it's Yuffie. As soon as she sees me, her face immediately changes, and she's almost scowling at me. She comes and stands a few feet away from me, putting her hands on her hips and giving me a disgusted look.

"You're a real jerk, you know that?" she spits furiously.

I don't say anything, because I know she's probably right. Instead I turn back around and stare at my hands folded in front of me on the bar. I think my lack of a reply surprises her, because she is silent for a moment, a real rarity for Yuffie. She lets out an exasperated sigh, and comes to sit on the barstool next to me. She looks at me for a moment, but when I still say nothing, she speaks up again.

"Hey." she says before smacking me on the arm, trying to get my attention.

"What?" I finally ask her, irritated and trying to figure out what is so important that she had to hit me for it.

Her face softens, and she almost looks sad, it's an expression I don't think I've ever seen on Yuffie.

"She loves you, you know?" she says genuinely.

I sigh. "Yeah, I know."

She pats me on the shoulder, and hops down from the stool. I hear her grab her purse, and open the front door, but I don't turn around to look at her because I'm too deep in thought.

"Take care of her, Cloud." she says quietly before she shuts the door behind her.

I will.

**To Be Continued…**

**(A.N.) **Thank you guys so much for all the reviews! Only five reviews for the last chapter though… Where is the love? -sniff- All of you who did review are awesome though! I was even added to a C2! I am so honored! Oh, and I know that at the end of Advent Children most of the church is covered by the pool, but I didn't like that, so I changed it. Hehe. I'm using my 'author's liberty' again.

Hopefully I'll have the next update out soon! I've been working on my art because I just made a Fanart Central account, (see my homepage link on my profile) so it might take awhile for me to finish the next chapter. As always, you can check my profile for the latest on how the next update is coming. (Oh, and take my poll!) C'mon, it only takes a minute to leave a review, but it makes my day! (and encourages me to update faster, hehe.)

Shibara1310 gets cookies, because she guessed correctly about the line I used from the game! Here you go Shibi. Please don't feed the bishies!

-Punkiemonkie


	5. Chapter Four

**(A.N.) **I'm so sorry about the late update yet again. I've been working on my art quite a bit (see the homepage link on my profile) so I haven't had time for my poor, neglected, little story. I'm going to try to finish the whole thing before Crisis Core comes out in the end of March though, so more updates should be on the way. It might not happen, but I'll try my best. Without further ado, I give you the next chapter.  
Note: "Speech" _'Voices in Cloud's head'_

**Devil Inside  
**Chapter Four

I linger in the bar for awhile after Yuffie leaves because I'm too afraid to go upstairs and check on Tifa. She might still be crying, and I just don't want to see. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to say to her before I go. I thought about leaving her a note, but I have no idea what I would write. I'm terrible with words, especially when they're written down. But even if I wasn't, there's still nothing I could possibly tell her that could make this better.

I figured she would be going to bed early tonight because, obviously, she's had a hard day, so I'm surprised when I hear her footsteps coming down the stairs. The sound of her steps is soft and even, but stops suddenly. I'm not looking over at her, but I know that she must have just realized that I'm here.

"Cloud?" she asks. Her voice is quiet, and hesitant. She probably thought that I wasn't going to come home tonight after work.

When I turn my head to look at her, I notice that her eyes are still red and slightly puffy around the edges. She doesn't look sad anymore though, because I think she's happy to see me.

"You're home." she says with a small smile.

I slide off the barstool, looking down at my feet and scratching the back of my head nervously. I hesitate a moment before I answer, trying to figure out what I can say that won't raise false hopes in her.

"Yeah, I… I'm home." I say slowly, unsure of myself.

I don't want to lead her to believe that I'm here for good, because I know that will only hurt her more when I go. She is unperturbed by my uncertainty though, and walks over to stand in front of me. She stands on her tiptoes and puts her hands on either side of my face, bringing me in for a quick kiss on the lips. Despite my mood, I am unable to hold back a smile.

"Are you hungry?" she asks cheerfully, heading towards the refrigerator, "I can make you dinner."

She's still smiling, but I feel bad; I'm leading her on. She probably thinks this means that I'm staying now. I can't deny the fact that I'm starving though, I didn't stop for lunch today, so I accept her offer.

"Yeah, that sounds great." I say honestly.

She throws me another smile before going about preparing my dinner for me.

"I already ate when Yuffie came over." she informs me while she's rummaging through the fridge. "I didn't think you were going to come home…so early." she gets quiet towards the end, and I can tell what she's thinking. She sets the ingredients on the counter, and looks up at me slowly.

"That's okay." I tell her as I'm heading for the stairs, "I'm going to get a shower."

"Alright." she says, turning her attention to the meal. She sounds less optimistic now, like her hope has faded.

Maybe she does know that I'm going to leave eventually, and she was just happy to see that I came home tonight. But even though she was smiling, there was a distinct sense of anxiety in the atmosphere of the room. I know we're both dreading the inevitable.

A few minutes later, I'm stepping out of the warm shower and drying off. I swipe my hand across the mirror to wipe away some of the steam so I can see my reflection. Then I grab a towel and rub my hair it until it's dry enough that it jumps back into its usual style, though it doesn't change much even when it's completely wet.

While I'm getting dressed in a shirt and boxers like I usually wear to bed, I start thinking about how, and most importantly when, I'm going to leave tonight. I sigh again at the thought; it's officially become a habit.

The warm water and steam of the shower helped relax me a little bit, but still can't shake off this feeling of utmost fear that I've been having lately. I choose to ignore it once again though, and go back to the kitchen where I'm sure Tifa already has dinner waiting for me.

As I'm descending the stairs back to the first floor of the house, the aroma of the food reaches my nose, and my stomach growls in response. I groan inwardly when it occurs to me that this will probably be the last home cooked meal I'll get to eat for awhile. Tifa is a cooking angel; everything that she makes is incredible. I don't know how I'm going to live without her food.

I walk into the kitchen just in time to see her setting my plate on the table. She turns to me and smiles pleasantly, though it doesn't reach her eyes. She yawns a little as I make my way across the room, but doesn't say anything until I'm sitting down at the table.

"I'm going to go to bed, okay?" she says, sounding more upbeat than I know she really is.

I look up at her, meeting her eyes and nodding in agreement. "Okay."

She leans over and kisses my cheek gently, and then makes her way towards the door.

"Goodnight." I say softly.

She turns and gives me a small smile in response before she leaves, and my eyes follow her out of the room, knowing that was probably the last conversation that I'll have with her for awhile. I find myself thinking about that for a moment, starting to brood yet again, but I quickly decide that I need to stop dwelling on it and get some food in my stomach.

I eat relatively quickly, and it doesn't even register to me exactly what it is, probably because my thoughts are elsewhere; I just know that it tastes great. After I'm done I clean up my dishes and head upstairs. The food filled my stomach, but I still have this gnawing empty feeling inside of me, one that I know can never be filled by anything but her. I already feel like I'm away from her, and it's killing me.

I open the door to our room cautiously, praying that she's already asleep. As I step in slowly, all I can hear is the sound of her breathing softly, so I'm pretty sure she's not still awake. I make my way over to the closet and get dressed as silently as I can, because I'm certainly not going to make the trip to Midgar on my motorcycle in nothing but my underwear. I actually feel kind of bad for changing into what I always wear to bed earlier, that was a lie in itself. I never planned to go to bed tonight, at least not here.

When I'm fully dressed I walk over to her side of the bed and gaze down at her. She looks peaceful. Her eyes closed gently and long eyelashes fanning out across her cheek. Soft, pink lips slightly parted as she breathes in and out, causing the slight rise and fall of her chest. I want nothing more than to crawl into bed with her and hold her against me while I fall asleep, but I know I can't. I'd never be able get out of bed, and I'd be putting her in danger for yet another night.

I wonder how she's going to feel in the morning when she wakes up and realizes that I didn't sleep here tonight. I'm sure she'll know what's going on, or at least where I am, but I still feel horrible for leaving without telling her anything, and without even saying goodbye. But really, what is there that I could say that would make any of this any better? I don't know how to tell her goodbye, even if it's only for a little while, so I choose to say nothing. She knows me better than anyone else, so I'm sure she'll understand, she always does.

I kneel down so I'm closer to her, and brush my fingertips across the side of her face, trying to keep the image of how beautiful she is fresh in my mind. Leaning closer, I place one last kiss on her cheek. I really want to kiss her lips, but I know it will probably wake her, so I settle for this. Then I stand again and head for the door, saying my goodbyes to her silently as I close it behind me.

Once I'm back downstairs, I grab my cell phone and my jacket, because I know it's going to be a cold ride tonight. I'm standing in front of the door as I turn back around to take one last look around the bar, my home. It's difficult to see much because the only light in the room is coming from the streetlight outside that's filtering in through the window, but I know it so well it's not hard to feel like I can see everything through the darkness.

Just as I'm reaching for the door handle, my heart jumps. I can hear the sound of nearly silent footsteps descending the stairs. I swallow, knowing that I've been caught, and now I'll have to explain myself. The footsteps stop, but I'm still facing towards the door, waiting for her to say something in the silence of the dark room.

"You're leaving again, aren't you?" Her voice is very quiet and steady, but I can clearly hear the pain in it. The word 'again' is what hits me the hardest, and makes me feel even more terrible than I already did because I know I'm putting her through this all over again.

I turn towards her and slowly lift my eyes to meet hers, but I don't say anything. There's nothing _to_ say, she already knows the answer.

"Why?" she asks, her voice becoming a little shaky with tears she's holding back.

Again, I have nothing to say. I don't know what to tell her, there just aren't words.

"Dammit Cloud, why won't you just talk to me?!" she shouts suddenly. It startles me, though she sounds much more hurt than angry. Tifa isn't one who gets angry very often, so I know this whole thing must have just pushed her too far.

"I'm…sorry." I say finally, barely in a whisper.

"I don't want an apology, I want an explanation." she says weakly.

I look away from her, trying to think of what I could possibly say to answer her. It's dead silent for another moment before she speaks up again.

"Why can't you just tell me what's wrong?" she pleads sadly. "I want to help you."

"You can't." I say, sounding a bit more bitter than I meant to. I think the way I said it must have bothered her, because she is silent for another moment, and when she does finally speak again her voice cracks slightly like she's close to tears.

"Why not?"

Suddenly my frustration gets the better of me, and the words come spilling out of my mouth.

"Because every time I close my eyes I see you dying, Tifa!" I shout desperately, making her jump slightly. "I have the same dream over and over about you getting murdered…by _me_." I finish quietly, watching her eyes.

She locks onto my gaze intently for a moment, but then her eyes dart away. I hadn't meant to raise my voice at her, but I doubt that's the reason she's so shaken. She is silent for a long time, apparently trying to take it all in. I watch her closely, trying to read her emotions. She doesn't look scared like I thought she'd be, just hurt and confused. I exhale slowly, and still her eyes stay away from mine.

"I'm sorry, Tifa." I say softly, though she still won't look at me. "I just… I don't want to hurt you."

She swallows and shifts her feet a bit, but her eyes remain focused on the floor. It's then that I notice the tears silently streaking down her cheeks. I take a half of a step forward, intending to embrace her, but she quickly steps back. I'm not sure if it's out of fear or hurt, but I decide to take the hint and not approach her, no matter how badly I want to pull her into my arms right now.

"If you're going to leave, then just go." she says curtly.

Her words startle me, and sting a little from the way she said it, but I understand why; I've hurt her. She's biting her lower lip and continuing to look away from me, tears still running down her face in the darkness.

"I love you, Tifa." I whisper, trying to fix things the best I can for now.

I know she heard me, but she still says nothing, just closes her eyes as more tears continue to fall from them. There's nothing more I can say now, so I turn to leave.

**To Be Continued…**

**(A.N.) **Another chapter done, woot! It was a bit short though, I know. Oh the angst of it all! Hehe. A big thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! You guys make writing this worth all the time and effort. Please be kind enough to leave another review, I appreciate every one of them. I think I'm going to end up drawing some fanart for this, so check out my homepage if you want to see it. And as always, check my profile for news on the next update.

-Punkiemonkie


	6. Chapter Five

**(A.N.) **I know, I've been horrible and abandoned this poor story for far too long. Computer viruses and loads of stress are to blame, but I'm back now, and I bring you the conclusion to this story! I've used my new formatting style, including the little scene breaks, so I'm hoping it will be easier to read. On a side note: upon rereading the past chapters, I realized that I misspelled Fenrir as "Finrir". -smacks forehead- I feel like an ass. XD  
Note: "Speech" _'Voices in Cloud's head'_

**Devil Inside  
**Chapter Five

A little over a week has passed since I left home, or at least I think it's been a week, though I've lost track of the long hours spent alone. I had hoped that being here in her church would help me get rid of the nightmarish dreams and the terrifying voice haunting my thoughts. I was wrong; it's gotten worse, much worse.

I'm lucky to get several minutes of peace from the voice invading my mind, and I haven't been able to sleep for more than a few hours the entire time I've been here. Every time I do fall asleep the dream is playing behind my eyelids yet again, like a horror movie, and I end up screaming myself awake. I feel like I'm completely loosing my mind; like it no longer belongs to me, but to the unrelenting voice that has made its home in my thoughts.

I exhale heavily, closing my sure-to-be bloodshot eyes, and lean my head back against the stone wall at the far end of the church. It's still dark outside, though I think dawn should be breaking soon. Another day has come and gone, and no amount of warring with my thoughts has been able to stop them from coming, or ease the pain and guilt that they cause.

Suddenly a noise pierces the silence; not a very loud noise, but after living in silence for a week it sounds deafening to my ears. I quickly identify it as the low creak of the church's large doors, and lift my head to look towards the entrance. The door on the right side opens slowly, and I reach over and grab my sword in anticipation of who, or what, it might be. I stand up, my heart pounding rapidly within my chest though I'm dead on my feet.

A sense of relief washes over me as I realize who the figure is, and then, quickly after it, a new sense of dread. It's Tifa, and I'm terrified of seeing her right now. My mind isn't under my control anymore, and something inside of me wants to hurt her. She can't be here now, because I wouldn't be able to bear it if something happened to her.

I set my sword back on the ground, and stare at her as she approaches me, her features lit dimly by the moonlight shining in from the hole in the ceiling. Her face looks haggard, dark circles forming under her eyes like she hasn't slept any more than me.

I hold my hand out to her as she gets closer, warning her to stay back. "Tifa, don't," I say, my voice hoarse. "Please, you have to go back home. It's not safe for you to be here."

"I'm not leaving without you," she replies evenly, drilling me with a longing stare and taking a few steps towards me.

I step back hesitantly. "Tifa, please," I plead with her, but her resolve is unchanged.

"No, not anymore, Cloud!" she almost shouts, but she still has that heartbroken look in her eyes from the last time I saw her. "I'm tired of you always running away and trying to deal with your problems alone. I thought we were past that." Her voice breaks a little, and I can see tears streaking down her face in the faint light.

My words get stuck in my throat, so I remain silent.

"We can face this together," she says softly, reaching out to me with a trembling hand.

A blinding flash in the sky suddenly lights up the inside of the church, followed by a loud clap of thunder.

I don't know how it happened, but during the instant that the lightning lit up the sky, I've reached down and picked up my sword without consciously telling my body to move. Cold rain starts falling from above in a heavy downpour, soaking my hair and shoulders quickly, and draining down my cheeks.

Tifa glances down at the sword in my hand, and then back up at my face, a look of real fear in her eyes.

"Cloud?" she asks quietly, her voice shaking slightly. "What are you doing?"

I take a step closer to her, unable to stop myself, and she backs up cautiously. I come to the sickening realization that this has become exactly like my dream: Tifa is here, I'm going to hurt her, and just like in the dream, there's nothing that I can do to stop it. I've finally lost all control, and she's going to be the one that has pay for it.

Then I realize why this situation seems so familiar. Aeris. I had almost killed her myself before my friends yelled at me and brought me back to my senses. But back then my mind was being manipulated by…

"Cloud," Tifa whispers, dread leaking into her voice. "Your eyes, they're…_his_."

Without any warning, a sharp pain shoots through my head and I stumble back, sending my sword clattering to the ground. I think I hear Tifa call my name, but my ears are ringing so loudly that it's hard to tell.

Then my world goes black.

xXxXx

In this world of pitch darkness, I feel as if I'm floating; desperately trying to find some solid ground, but there is nothing. A sinister cackle resonates around me, and I recognize it as belonging to the voice in my head. I blink rapidly, trying to see anything but the absolute darkness, but there is no light to be found.

As the laughter gains in volume, I suddenly find my footing, and I can feel the weight of my sword in my grip. A small light appears in the distance, creating a silhouette of a man. The voice speaks to me again, though it's no longer coming from within my own mind, but from the figure in front of me.

"You lied to me, Cloud," the voice says; mocking but menacing at the same time. A chill runs down my spine when he says my name.

With a start, I realize who this voice belongs to. It seems so obvious now, in hindsight. Of course, it's _him_.

Sephiroth.

The moment that I understand, the figure comes into focus, and I can see him sneering at me. Silver hair falling around him, mako-green, catlike eyes glinting in the darkness.

"You." It comes out in a low growl. "What the hell do you want?" I demand of him, every nerve of my body tingling with rage.

He laughs viciously, though he doesn't answer my question directly. "You told me that you cherished everything you had, but it's obvious that _some_ things are a bit more important to you than others."

A wicked grin spreads across his face, and I instantly understand his intent.

He knows that Tifa means the world to me, and if he takes her away, or makes _me_ end her life, then I won't have the will to fight him anymore. I'm the only thing that's standing between him and his 'mother's' goal, so if I don't have the determination to stop him, he can do whatever he wants. He's held a grudge against me for a long time, too; probably since I ran Zack's sword through him that day in the Nibelheim reactor, all those years ago. He can't let it go that he lost, and that I keep denying him the victory he so desperately craves, so he has to keep coming back to torture me.

He's gone too far this time though, trying to make me hurt Tifa, and I'm going to make him pay for it.

Fury suddenly rips through my veins like wildfire. I yell out in anger, lifting my sword and running towards him, intent on finishing off the sadistic bastard for good. By the time I'm close enough to him to swing my sword though; he already has his sword out to block my blow. The metal clashes with an earsplitting shriek, but I ignore it and take a step back, lunging at him again.

I know I won't be able to win against him in this state; the adrenaline has given me strength to overcome my lack of sleep, but my emotions are far too distracting for me to be able to fight effectively. The absolute rage has almost blinded me, and I'm swinging my sword wildly at him, though he hardly seems to be breaking a sweat defending my strikes. He chuckles maliciously as I keep coming at him, seeming uninterested and almost amused.

"You can't escape your past Cloud," he taunts me as he stops my weapon from reaching his body yet again. "You're going to kill her, just like you killed the flower girl and the SOLDIER."

Overwhelming guilt knocks the breath out of me then, a curl of nausea creeping into my stomach. I know I didn't actually kill them, but I might as well have, since I couldn't stop them from dying. These thoughts that I thought I had left in the past take hold of my mind again, surely caused by his presence, and I loose my focus for a split second.

When my guard is down, he stops playing the game of only defending himself, and lashes out at me. The edge of his blade slices through the flesh on my arm, just above my bicep. I grunt, swinging at him again and trying to ignore the searing pain or the warm, thick fluid running down my arm.

No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to focus. Too many thoughts are swirling around in my head, and the adrenaline is wearing off and giving way to exhaustion. I've been slowly worn down since the dreams started, and I just can't find the strength anymore, which was undoubtedly his plan. I'm fighting a loosing battle, and I know it.

'_Don't give up!'_

I'm startled by the sound of a new voice speaking in my mind, though this time it's feminine, and angelic rather than sneering. I smile to myself, even as I continue fighting the monster in front of me, because I _know_ this voice.

'_You can't let him win, Cloud!' _a second, deeper voice shouts; I know this one too. _'Fight!'_

Somehow, just hearing their encouragement renews my strength. My arms suddenly feel stronger, my mind sharper, and my shoulders free of the guilt Sephiroth tried to cast on me again.

While he's distracted with thinking that he's finally won, I slip through his defenses, and shove my sword thorough his chest. He gasps in pain, looking down at the blade that's impaled him, and then back up at me. Disbelief is the first emotion that crosses his usually stoic face, and then indignant rage replaces it.

"It's over, Sephiroth," I say evenly, despite my heavy breathing.

He says nothing in response, just drills me with an unnerving stare. I withdraw my sword from his chest, and watch as he doubles over, crumpling to the ground in a pool of blood. Soon after, his figure is swallowed up by the darkness around me, disappearing from sight.

I breathe a heavy sigh of relief, a sudden sense that I'm free of his torment for good washing over me.

My world goes black again.

xXxXx

"Cloud?"

I hear a voice calling my name, but it sounds distant and it echoes in my ears, like I'm in a tunnel. I can't feel my body at all, it's like I'm floating in the blackness again, only this time I'm numb.

"Cloud!"

The voice is louder now, and there's the distinct sound of dread in it. It gets clearer, though I still can't tell where it's coming from or who it belongs to.

I struggle against my heavy eyelids, searching for the source of the voice that somehow gives me a sense of comfort, even in this disorienting state that I'm in. The feeling slowly comes back to my limbs, causing them to tingle slightly.

"Cloud! Please, wake up!" the voice begs.

Hands are grasping my shoulders, shaking me gently, and then I feel soft fingers brush across my cheek and my forehead. I focus all my strength on lifting my eyelids, until I finally get them to crack open. I blink rapidly, trying to clear my blurry vision so I can focus on the figure I see hovering over me.

I must be dead, because I can see an angel. A beautiful, dark-haired angel with big brown eyes, leaning over me and calling my name, a worried look etched on her face.

"Cloud!" she shouts again, and I flinch away from the volume of her voice, though the sound of it is like music to my ears. "Say something, please!"

I finally find my voice, though it's quiet and raspy, and I answer her.

"Tifa?" I croak, staring up at her.

She looks startled at the sound of my voice for a moment, and then extremely relieved.

"Oh thank Gaia you're okay!" she says breathlessly, letting herself fall onto me and resting her cheek against my chest.

I realize then that I'm lying on my back, the wooden floorboards of the church beneath me. I must have passed out when I had the fight with Sephiroth in my mind, because I can't even feel any pain in my arm where he cut me. It was a battle within my soul, but a battle nonetheless.

Glancing around, I notice that it's no longer dark here. The rain has stopped, and the bright sunshine of dawn is pouring down through the hole in the ceiling. I sigh in relief, saying a silent prayer of thanks to Aeris and Zack, and relax into Tifa's embrace.

"Yeah," I say softly, bringing my hand up to stroke her hair. "Everything is okay now."

**To be continued…**

**(A/N) **Of course there was a happy ending, what did you think? XD But wait, there's more! Yup, I'm writing an _epilogue_ for this at the moment, so it should be posted very soon! I can't believe it took me so long to finish this, but I hope the final chapter was worth the wait.

This is the first time I've ever written a fight scene of sorts into a story, so I hope I did okay with it. O.o I find it interesting that no one that reviewed guessed that the voice was in fact Sephiroth. I tried to drop clues, but maybe I'm trickier than I thought. XD I started writing this with the intent that Sephiroth would be behind it before I played Crisis Core, and gained a bit more understanding for his character, so if you're a Sephy fan, don't bit my head off! He may be evil, but he's just misguided. XP

Thank you in advance to anyone who reviews! Hopefully somebody that has read/reviewed the other chapters will still be around to review this chapter and the epilogue… That is, if I didn't run you off because of the enormous hiatus. O__O I hate to pull the "review and I'll update faster" card, but they _do _encourage me to write more. -hint, hint- XD

Faves are appreciated, reviews are loved.

-punkiemonkie


	7. Epilogue

**(A/N) **Of course, I couldn't let this story end just like that; I had to write more. It was so full of angst, I thought I should show a bit more of the happy ending. So here's the epilogue! :D

Important note! There's a new format style: "Speech" _Flashbacks_

**Devil Inside**

Epilogue

My throat is dry, my stomach is queasy, and I feel light-headed, making it hard to keep my balance. Nothing I do can stop my heart from beating rapidly and my knees from shaking, or the cold sweat from breaking out on my forehead.

No, I'm not having the nightmares again. I'm getting married.

I shouldn't be this nervous; this isn't that big of a deal. I've been in love with Tifa since we were kids, and I've always been devoted to her. So what's so intimidating about getting up in front of our friends and making it official?

I'll tell you what: having to be the center of attention for all these people. I've always been sort of timid, and apparently, I have stage fright too;_ really bad_ stage fright.

So I'm standing at the alter, anxiously waiting for Tifa to show up so we can get this over with. Not that I want to rush through our wedding, mind you, I would just rather get finished with this before I end up passing out or puking all over my shoes.

Taking a deep breath, I try to distract myself by thinking about something else. My eyes scan the room; all our friends are here, and even the Turks and Rufus showed up, but I realize that I don't even know half of the other people here. They must be customers from the bar that know Tifa. I notice that most of them are women, though; I'm sure the guys that come to the bar just to see her weren't very pleased when they heard that she was getting married to me.

I smile to myself at the thought.

It's been several months since my nightmares stopped, and it's early spring now, so the weather is nice. We decided to have the wedding in Aeris's church; after, of course, I asked Aeris if it was alright to bring everyone here. It was a little difficult not being able to ask her face-to-face, but from what I could tell, I think she was thrilled.

Barret, and Cid came out and helped me fix it up a little bit, mainly repairing some of the broken pews and uneven floorboards, though the ceiling remains a natural skylight. It took several long weekends, and it was a miracle that we were able to do it without seriously injuring somebody. All I know about carpentry is what I learned when we made our house in Edge, and I don't think either of them know much more.

It looks really nice now though; I think Tifa got some regulars from the bar to help decorate. Yuffie has been slave-driving everybody during the planning of the whole event too, so I'm sure she had something to do with it. Everything is ornamented with white and yellow, to match the flowers that are natural to the church.

I sigh, shifting my weight to my other foot restlessly. I woke up really early this morning, and I haven't been able to sit still since. Yuffie has been constantly hovering over Tifa, and she wouldn't even let me see her today; something about it being bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. I was already dressed and ready, but I had nothing left to do, so I figured I'd come down to the church to try and relax.

xXxXx

_I sit on a pew in the front row, leaning my head back and closing my eyes, trying to calm my nerves. It's completely silent, so I'm startled when I hear a voice at my side._

"_Wow. Never thought I'd see you in a tux," the masculine voice teases._

_I jerk my head up, startled._

_Sitting beside me on the pew, looking much too casual for his own good, is Zack. He's wearing that same carefree grin that I always remember him having; like nothing has changed. Aeris is standing behind him too, with a hand on his shoulder._

"_Zack, don't make fun of him," Aeris chides him before looking up at me and smiling sweetly. "You look very nice, Cloud."_

_I am unable to form coherent words for a moment, because I'm stunned by their presence._

"_You okay man?" Zack asks when I don't say anything for a minute._

"_Y-yeah… How…?" is all I can manage to choke out, but he understands._

"_It's one of the perks of having a girlfriend that's half Cetra," Zack explains with a smirk. Aeris sits down next to him, smiling in agreement with his statement as he slips his arm around her waist. "We showed up before, remember?" he asks, tilting his head to the side._

_That's true; they were here the day my Geostigma was cured. I halfway questioned my sanity that day, since I was the only one who saw them. I thought I might have been hallucinating, but I guess not. I can't get over how solid they look though, it's like they're really here. Alive again._

"_Yeah, I remember," I answer him finally. "I'm just…surprised. You look so…_real_." I speak slowly, trying to find the right words._

_Zack cocks an eyebrow for a moment, trying to figure out what I mean, but then he chuckles. "It is pretty cool, huh?" he says enthusiastically. "Aeris can do some pretty amazing things," He turns and kisses her on the cheek, causing her to giggle lightly._

_I roll my eyes and instinctively look away from his display of affection. Zack has always been like that though, never afraid to tell people how he feels and let everyone else know it too, so I guess I should be used to it. I stand up to stretch because I still feel jittery and anxious, and soon Zack is standing beside me with Aeris at his side._

"_You nervous?" he asks playfully, nudging me in the arm._

_I sigh, it must be obvious. "Yeah."_

"_It will be okay, Cloud," Aeris says, trying to reassure me._

"_Yeah, the wedding will probably be boring, but you're going to have _fun_ tonight!" Zack says, slapping me on the back._

_It takes me a moment to process what he means, but when I do my face instantly turns crimson with embarrassment. This is _not_ a conversation that I want to have with him right now, especially not while a woman is standing here._

"_Zack!" Aeris shouts as she smacks him in the arm for his provocative comment._

"_What?" he asks, shrugging his shoulders and feigning innocence. "There's nothing wrong with it, he's getting married," he tells Aeris, trying to justify his remark._

_I cover my face with my hand, groaning and feeling the heat radiating from my cheeks. When I uncover my eyes a moment later, I shake my head slowly; knowing that I should have expected that from him. When he and Aeris are done arguing, he turns back to me, still grinning despite getting scolded._

"_What I mean is, you're going to be fine," he corrects himself, placing a hand on my shoulder as a sly smirk spreads across his face._

_I can't help but smile a little too. He's the same old Zack._

"_I still can't believe you're getting married!" Aeris says excitedly and I nod in agreement._

_It doesn't quite seem like reality yet, it's just too good to be true._

_Without any warning, Zack yanks me closer to him by my shoulder, and pulls me into a tight hug._

"_Our little Cloud is all grown up now!" he shouts, pretending to be emotional._

_Immediately I start trying to escape his grip, attempting to push myself away from him, but his arms are so tight around my shoulders that I can barely move. I forgot that he's always been bigger than me, and because of his SOLDIER attributes, much stronger. It's a little irritating that he can still overpower me like this, even after how much I've grown since I was that little boy that couldn't get into SOLDIER._

_Aeris is giggling while she's watching us, but I'm seriously starting to need some air, because it's kind of hard to breath with my face pressed up against his chest like this._

"_Zack," I gasp, still trying to push him off. "Come on… Knock it off!"_

_He ignores my plea for the moment, and continues to squeeze the breath out of me, knowing full well that I'm going to be pissed at him when I get free. I think Aeris notices that I'm starting to turn a little blue, so she speaks up, saving me._

"_Um, Zack, you might want to let him go now," she says with concern, though she's still smiling, presumably at his antics._

_Finally, he releases me, leaving me staggering away and gasping for breath._

"_Feel better?" he asks. Then he laughs lightheartedly and pats me on the back, grinning despite the vicious glare I'm giving him._

_Yup, same old Zack._

_My scowl soon fades though, and I find myself smiling even though I'm rapidly trying to breathe. I feel like a teenager again, probably because he still acts like one sometimes. _

_When I've regained my breath, Aeris speaks up again. "We'd better go," she says regretfully. "Your guests will be arriving soon."_

_I pull my cell phone out of my back pocket and check the time. Sure enough, she's right. I nod in acknowledgement, deciding not to question how she knows that._

"_Can you…?" I don't finish my question, but Zack answers anyway, knowing what I mean._

"_We'll be here," he says triumphantly. "I get to be best man, right?" He gives me a curious look, but there's a smile behind it, because he already knows my answer._

_Zack is my best friend, well, besides Tifa; but obviously, that's a little different. I wouldn't know who else to choose besides him._

"_Of course," I say with a nod. He grins wider, but I turn to Aeris. "I know Tifa would have wanted you to be her maid of honor," I state simply._

"_I'd be honored," she replies, her face beaming._

_We actually decided not to have any of our friends in our wedding, mainly because Yuffie was the only one willing to do it. All of the guys were already upset about having to dress up, and they weren't too keen on the idea of having to stand up in front of an audience as well. I don't blame them one bit. Shera did agree to play the piano for us, but she's the only one actually not in the audience._

_I'm sure Tifa will be happy when she sees Zack and Aeris standing there, though. That is, _if _she sees them._

_Aeris must have seen the unsure look cross my face, because she tries to reassure me. "Don't worry," she says with a smile. "We'll be there."_

xXxXx

And they are.

Both Zack and Aeris are standing at my left, her hand in his, smiling brightly. I feel a little better knowing that they're here, but my stomach is still in knots.

"You alright, Spiky?" I hear Barret ask from the pew a few yards in front of me. "You look a little pale."

I sigh, looking down at the floor. "I'm fine," I lie.

"You're not getting cold feet, are you?" Yuffie asks in an almost accusing way.

"No, Yuffie," I assure her, sounding a little more sarcastic than I should have.

"Good," Yuffie says, frowning. "Because I'm not about to let you run out on Tifa, she's waited a long time for this day to come," she declares with authority, crossing her arms in the process.

And she thinks I haven't? I laugh inwardly, but decide to keep that one to myself. There's no way I would try to run away today, no matter how nervous I am. And no, the fact that my feet are glued to the floor because of my nerves has nothing to do with it.

I look over to the side of the room where my friends are all seated, slightly amused by the sight of all of them. It's a strange thing, seeing all of them dressed up like this. Reeve is the only one who looks comfortable, probably because he's used to being professional and having to wear suits; working for ShinRa all these years. I never thought I'd see the day when Yuffie put on a dress, but she actually did it. She must really care about Tifa.

I'm distracted for a moment with these thoughts, and then the music starts playing from the piano in the front of the church, and my stomach just about drops to the floor. The doors at the front of the church swing open suddenly, and Tifa steps in slowly.

My heart stops at the sight of her; I've never seen anything so beautiful. Her gown is white, long and flowing, accentuating her figure perfectly. She's holding a bouquet of the yellow and white flowers from the church, and her face is covered by translucent veil, draped over her dark hair that has been made into loose curls that fall around her shoulders.

Tifa glances up at me from behind the veil, eyes wide and a delicate blush coloring her cheeks. A bright smile spreads across her face when she meets my eyes, and in that moment, all of my doubts; all of my fears and anxiousness, completely melt away.

My life has finally fallen completely into place, and I can't wait to start living it.

**The End**

**(A/N) **Alas, one year after it began, the story is really finished now. I do, however, have a _ton _of ideas swimming around in my head that could be used for a sequel. :3 I'm not sure if I'll get around to writing it, just because_ I've _never been married, so I don't know how well I'd do writing about a married couple… I might eventually go for it though. Check out my profile if you want to know what I'm up to. ;P

I hope the flashback format/transition here wasn't too confusing; I've never done that before. O.o Sorry about the flashback being so long too, but I was having so much fun writing Zack into it that I couldn't bring myself to make it shorter. XD

Thank you to everybody that has reviewed this story:

_AmazonTurk, BlueSparx, Bluishorbs, Ch0k-naT, crazedshinobivampiress, DemonLoulou, Destiny's Daughter, DJxscribbles, DrakeGirl-San, elebelly, Hipathya, keywordparamore, kitsunepowaa, Lonely Dreamer, LovingCloudStrife777__, macalaniaprincess, misanthropic angel, mutt4__.0, Nanticoke, Niquie__, NRGburst, PoutingCutie, shibara1310, Soniax, Sousukes-Girl, The Sacred Heart 2, Twin A 07, Vulcan Halps, Yuan Edwards,_ and_Yumi Reitenshi._ Especially to those who have faithfully reviewed all of the chapters, you guys seriously rock! And thanks to anyone who has faved this, or will review/fave in the future! :D Also, a special thank you to DrakeGirl-San, because she actually drew some fanart from this! (see my profile for the link) I love it! -hugs-

I appreciate the faves, I really do, but I'd_ much_ rather have a nice review. Please, take the time to let me know what you think; it makes all the hard work worth while. :3

-punkiemonkie


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